When Worlds Collide
by Thrower64
Summary: Based off D3. SLASH Charlie and Adam. Charlie and Adam have been together quite some time. Read my version of how Adam is treated by the ducks and varsity. What happens when varsity finds out they are gay? What happens when Adam's father finds out he's gay. Are some sexual themes and humor. There is also angst. Adams father and varsity tend to get physical.
1. Chapter 1

I started to wake up as I felt kisses going up the back of my neck. They were so light I barely felt them, but I knew Charlie was trying to wake me up. It doesn't take much. I'm such a light sleeper; especially after extremely rough practices.

I made Varsity Warriors as a freshman a month ago when the season started. Most people were not happy about it besides my father. He was ecstatic. My father only cares about hockey though. He is the only parent I know that would get mad at his son for being injured instead of being concerned. I was in trouble after my initial wrist injury because I couldn't hide the pain enough. I told him to imagine how having a hockey stick broke in half over your wrist would feel. It resulted in a yelling fight between us which eventually ended up with shoving, pushing, and "knocking some sense into me". He wants me to go to the pros and be the best hockey player in the nation. I want to go pro, but I want to do it for me. Not him.

The ducks weren't so into the idea of me being on a different team either. We had been together for years and had been through a lot. Charlie and I had our first big fight that night. He was mad that I was leaving him behind. It wasn't even my choice to be on varsity, but he was still mad at me. We didn't share a bed for two nights after that. We barely even talked to each other.

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _"Charlie. Please. Just talk to me," I begged._

 _"No. I can't deal with this right now," Charlie snapped._

 _"What can't you deal with? It's not like I intentionally made Varsity. They are going to hate me. Charlie, I need you to help m_ e _and make me feel better. Not make me feel like an ass for making Varsity."_

 _"Why couldn't you have screwed up a bit during practice instead of being flawless like usual?! Why couldn't you do that for me? You must have known there was a chance you would make Varsity and leave me behind. How dare you just leave me behind!" Charlie yelled while throwing a book in my direction._

 _I picked the book up and put it back on the shelf. I walked up to him leaving only a foot of space between us. "I'm not leaving you. If I was leaving you I wouldn't be here right now would I? I didn't know there was a chance of being bumped to Varsity. I don't like the idea of being on Varsity just as much as anyone else does. What can I do to calm you?"_

 _Charlie looked me in the eyes, "Go sleep in your own bed." Then he turned around_ _and lay down in his own bed with his back to my side of the room._

 _I felt like I had just been smacked in the face. I went and changed my clothes. Then I crawled into my own bed and cried myself to sleep._

 _End Flashback_

* * *

Varsity was not happy that I had made the team either. The captain was trying to get all the ducks scholarships taken away and now he was landed with a duck on his team. Luckily, the scholarships were not taken away, but that gave Rick and Cole more reason to hate me. Rick Riley and his enforcer Cole were always gunning for me on the ice. Yesterday was no different. I personally lost track of the legal and illegal checks they did behind coaches back. However, my body could certainly probably be the indicator. I hurt everywhere. Opening my eyes a little, I could see in the sunlight that my bad wrist was swollen and bruised.

Why did the Goodwill Games have to be televised? Why did everyone have to see my wrist injury on television? Everyone knows my weakness. My wrist.

I was pulled from my thoughts to more kisses. This time I rolled over more towards Charlie. He smiled and kissed my cheek. Then he raised his hand up to stroke my cheek which I winced at. Bruise number one has now been accounted for.

"Shit. I'm sorry Adam." Charlie said quickly.

Yesterday, I came back to our room moving slowly and collapsed on my bed. Charlie crawled onto my bed rubbing my back. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it hurt due to the potential bruises on my back. After all he was just trying to comfort me.

"I forgot about the bruises," he muttered again taking me away from my thoughts.

"It's fine. It's not your fault everything hurts."

"How's your wrist?" He asked concern written all over his face.

I rolled over completely and let him look. He gracefully ran his fingers over my wrist. I winced at his touch. Good thing we don't have practice today. I wouldn't have survived another battering like yesterday. Coach gave us today off since we won our game 11-2 against Blake's varsity team and we had really good practices this week.

Charlie slid out of bed and got something out of the refrigerator and a towel. He came back with an ice pack wrapped in a towel and laid it on my wrist.

"That wrist isn't looking good today Adam. You should go get it looked at," he said as he laid down next to me again. Charlie looked more worried now than he had last night when I came home.

"I can't," I answered simply while adjusting the ice pack.

"What's the excuse this time?" I can't say his response is surprising. I always make excuses to not get my injuries looked at. Especially if they were at the hands of varsity. I don't want anyone on varsity to know that the beatings are actually as bad as they are. I guess it also has to do with my pride. Then again, they could be worse because they think they aren't phasing me.

"I have homework to do and I would rather spend my day with you," I said while flirting lightly and pulling him closer to me.

"Adam. Getting your wrist looked at won't take long. Still time for homework and me." Charlie stared at me trying to read me.

"It's just a bruise. I'm going to go shower." I grabbed my towel and went into the bathroom and locked the door. We normally allow each other privacy during showers, but I wouldn't put it past Charlie to come peek to see my bruises.

I looked in the mirror at myself. There's the bruise on my cheek from where my face met ice due to my helmet being flipped off. Thank you Cole. My right collarbone and shoulder have one long slender bruise from being hit with Cole's hockey stick while I was down. Bruises are here and there on my arms and chest. I turn and see two big ones from Cole's fist on my back. Even through my equipment I have this many bruises. No wonder I hurt everywhere.

The hot water makes me feel better. I take my time since my muscles aren't as sore right now.

Finally I get out and dry off. That's when I realize I didn't bring clothes in with me. I usually just wear my towel into the room and then get dressed. However, today I know Charlie will see the amount of bruises and be pissed.

Well too late now. I walk of the bathroom, not fully ready to defend not going to the hospital. I immediately see Portman, Fulton, and Charlie all with the same concerned look.

"What the hell are they doing to you man?" Portman yelled. He was fuming.

I avoided eye contact. "It's not that bad. I can barely feel most of them."

"Dude! You're covered in bruises," exclaimed Fulton.

Charlie looks down at the floor. "I didn't realize you had that many," he manages to squeak out. Looking me in the eyes he begs me to go get looked at.

"Everyone, I'm fine. Really. I will take two of my painkillers and relax the rest of the day. Nothing strenuous," I reasoned.

"You ran out of your prescription yesterday and you are out of refills," Charlie points out. I can tell he has all of my expected excuses planned out.

"Dude! You can't just keep popping pain pills like you do. You're going to get addicted one of these day," Fulton said.

"Sorry Fulton. I'm going to keep taking them. But, I don't take as many as I used too," I reasoned. I understand where his concern comes from. At the goodwill games I was taking the max allotment everyday.

"Let me take you to urgent care so you can get more pain killers. Then I'll take you to lunch. My treat," Charlie said trying to convince me.

I sigh. I'm not going to win. "So is this your idea of asking me out on a date," I breathe out.

All three of the guys bust out laughing. Portman and Fulton just look at Charlie who nods. I know I meant it to be funny, but they are blowing this out of proportion.

I moved towards my closet getting my clothes. I honestly need my pain killers. Especially with the varsity gunning for me.

I finished getting dressed and grab my jacket off my chair. "Okay Charlie. It's now or never."

He immediately hopped up because he knew that wasn't a joke. The Bash Brothers follow us out and Charlie locks the door. We all say good bye and head down the dorm stairs


	2. Chapter 2

**Please read and review so I know what you think! This is my first fanfiction. I know there are a few things to fix which I periodically go through to do. I would like opinions! Thanks!**

* * *

We talked very little on the way. Dumb questions about the weather and other random things. When we get to urgent care he checked me in and filled out my paperwork. My wrist was very painful at this point to where I couldn't write.

10 minutes later we are called back and they immediately take me for X-rays. It's slow for a Sunday morning. It's only 10:30 so most people are still in church or asleep. That's where I wish I was. I wish I was cuddling with Charlie making out. No, have to be at the urgent care.

Now I'm the exam room with Charlie. There's a knock on the door and the doctor walks in.

"Nice to see you again Adam," said Dr. Patton. "What's the damage this time?"

"The usual I announce casually." He's been my actual doctor since I was 4. He also works at the urgent care a lot on the weekends. He's treated every single hockey injury I've ever had. Except for the initial wrist injury that happened during the Goodwill Games.

"Hockey. Wrist again I see," he said flipping through my file. "Well, let's look at it."

I unwrap my wrist and hold it out for the doctor. You can see a purple bruise going up and down the inside of my wrist. My whole wrist looks puffy. He turns my wrist different directions to get better views.

"Someone get you with a stick again? It looks like a sprain to me. I didn't see any concerns on the X-ray. Are you still taping or wrapping your wrist while playing?"

I nod my head. Most of the time at least. Mainly when it's sore.

"Well, I'm going to give you a new wrist brace today. You need the added support for healing purposes. Take a couple days off from hockey," he says eyeing me looking for a reaction, but I didn't give one.

"How are the pain killers working? Do they help?"

I nod again, "Yes they do. Buttttt I ran out."

Dr. Patton pulls out his prescription pad. "Here is a prescription for more pain killers. Call me whenever you run out and I will call in the refills if you feel you still need them. The nurse will be by with a new brace for you then you can leave. See you next time Adam. Don't rush back to see me." We shook hands and he left.

The nurse promptly came in with my new brace and off we went.

After lunch we went back to our room. We laid next to each other on my bed. My back was to Charlie. I woke up to his light snoring and his arm around my waist. I must have dozed off trying to read my book assignment for freshman literature.

I felt stiff. I didn't want to move, but I needed my pain killers. I didn't take any before homework because I like to wait until I can no longer stand the pain. This is one of those moments.

I roll onto my back and nudge Charlie.

"Yes?" He asked sleepily.

"Will you get my meds?" I asked while wincing.

"I was wondering how long you would last this time." He moves from his warm place on my bed and comes back with two pills and a water bottle.

I say thanks after swallowing them and snuggle against Charlie this time taking an intentional nap.

"Wake up!"

My eyes open slightly. Who the hell is yelling at me.

All the ducks are standing there. We need to learn how to lock our door. I look at the time. 5:30. Dinner hall is open now.

Julie speaks, "Come on. We're all hungry."

Charlie and I slowly get up from bed and start getting our shoes on. I take my wrist brace off. Better for varsity to see the bruises than the brace.

Personally, I hate going down for meals because I'm required by varsity to sit with varsity. However, I guess I should count my blessings that they didn't make me move into the varsity dorms. On the other hand, I would like one meal where I'm not almost getting my hand stabbed with a fork or being verbally belittled. Also, today I don't want them to see how sore I am.

I get my food with the rest of the ducks and work my way towards varsity's table. I make sure to hide my wrist with my sleeve pulled down. I also force myself to walk a normal pace despite my soreness. I take my usual spot between Scooter and are the only two that treat me with respect on the team.

"Hey Banks," says Scooter happily.

"What's up?" asks Avery.

"Just a homework day today," I comment.

He turns his body fully toward mine as if to hide me from the rest of the team. He motions for me to pull up my sleeve. He must remember the hard hit yesterday by Riley directed towards my wrist.

I pull up my sleeve and he only shakes his head in sadness. He doesn't think it's right I'm treated this way and neither does Avery. They are my only actual friends on the team.

"One day they are gonna go too far and cause permanent damage," he scoffs quietly.

The three of us are all silent. My mind is running a million different directions. Practices are already rough. Imagine if they found out I was gay. That would be the end of me. The roughness would only magnify.

The only people that know I'm gay are the ducks and Charlie's mom. He came out to her about a year ago along with telling her I'm his boyfriend. The ducks don't care. Half of them saw it coming. Maybe not necessarily me dating Charlie, but they expected me to come out soon. I wish I had the guts Charlie did to tell his mom. I can't tell my parents. Not yet anyway. Varsity can never know.

"Banks. Banks!" Riley is yelling in my face.

"Yes?" I reply tensing up.

"How are you feeling today after practice yesterday?" Him and Cole make a big toothy grin.

I shrug my shoulders. "I feel fine," I lie. I make sure to keep my hands under the table. Wrist would be a dead giveaway.

"Well that's good. We wanted to make sure you were okay to practice tomorrow and play in the game Wednesday night. We need all our players in good shape. Even though we all know you shouldn't be on this team in the first place." They step back watching me.  
They are looking for any flinches or winces.

"Put your arms on the table," Cole demands. Hesitantly I do as I'm asked otherwise he will do it himself.

"Roll up your sleeves," Riley commands. Again, I hesitantly follow directions.

"It looks beautiful, Banksie. It must feel just as wonderful," Cole winks. He always sounds like an idiot. Rarely, does he make intelligible comments.

I don't say anything. I just watch Riley and Cole. Suddenly, Riley grabs my arm. He lifts and squeezes it with as much pressure as he can give while holding it in a twisted angle.

"Now how does it feel?" grits Riley. He doesn't like when no one responds.

"Great," I muster out through clenched teeth.

"That's better," as he continues to squeeze and twist my wrist. "I expect answers when talking to you Banksie."

I can see all the ducks watching us. Some look shocked. Some look worried. Then there is Charlie and Portman about to jump up to come straighten this out.

Scooter cuts in, "He's got the picture Rick. Leave him alone. He hasn't done anything to you."

They stare at me, then Scooter, and go sit back down when they are left unsatisfied.

"Let's get out of here Banks. Get you some ice," Scooter says while glaring are Rick.

Scooter, Avery, and I get up and dump our trays. We go wait in the hallway.

"Let me see it," Scooter looks concerned.

I hold out my arm. You can see Ricks hand print. This is definitely going to bruise.

"Banks. This isn't right," Avery said quietly kicking the leg of a chair.

That's when all the ducks walk out. Scooter and Avery are still looking at my wrist, so all the ducks get a good view too. They all give me a look of sympathy.

"I just want to go lay down," I say. We all go our separate ways to our rooms.


	3. Chapter 3

"How you feeling today?" asked Scooter as he sat down on the bench next to me lacing up his skates.

"I feel better. Not as sore," I shrug. "Wrist is still swollen, but I have good movement." I rotate my wrist to show him.

Avery joins us, "They need to lay off you. It's really pissing me off."

"Well, when you come up with any safety tips to avoid them just let me know."

Now I'm trying to decide if I should wrap or use the brace on my wrist. If I use the brace their will be more protection from Riley and Cole. However, then I loose my flexibility. Wrapping it is.

We hear the whistle and we head out to starting warming up. We see JV on the visitors bench. Normally they have the rink from 5-7 while we have it from 3-5.

"Practice will be a little different today. We will warm up for ten minutes and then we will scrimmage the JV team for the rest of practice," announced Coach Wilson.

I wonder if Charlie knew about this. He probably didn't or he would have told me about it. The unofficial game before the official game that we played against each other me and him got into a fistfight on the ice. That shocked all of the ducks. We slept in separate beds for a whole week. However, our relationship is much stronger now and Charlie's confidence is back now that he is officially captain again. Also, his moodiness is limited lately.

The ducks must have proved themselves to Coach Wilson for him to have us scrimmage against them versus just splitting us into two teams. He takes practice very seriously. There is supposed to be no horsing around. Except Riley and Cole must be exempt  
from this rule.

We run through our warm ups and then we set up for scrimmage. I'm hoping Riley and Cole just play a normal game today and don't gun for me, but I also know it's a game for them. If they gun for me and a duck sees it I'm sure there will be retaliation.  
Especially if Charlie sees it happen and it isn't a fair check. However, if Charlie makes too many attempts to see how I am he will let the rest of the team on about us which would be a disaster.

"Banks. Conway. Face-off," Coach Orion directs.

We take center ice. "Be careful, Banks," Charlie said calmly. I nod my head in response. I've always been the quiet one in the relationship.

Coach Wilson drops the puck. I get the puck and quickly skate around Charlie. I've always had the faster stick than him. I see Mendoza coming up quick and pass off to Avery on my left. Next thing I know Riley skates past me wiping my feet out from underneath me with his stick. Mendoza can't stop fast enough and lands right on top of me.

"Mendoza! Learn how to use the brakes!" yelled Coach Wilson.

Coach Orion was intently watching what happened. He gives Wilson a look and angrily shakes his head.

"It wasn't my fault I promise," Mendoza said as he reaches out his hand to help me up.

"Don't worry I know," I said glaring at Riley who is laughing to himself. Not even two minutes into scrimmage and I'm flat on the damn ice.

He is going to get creative with injuring me today. Coach Wilson never pays attention. On the other hand, Coach Orion notices everything.

I get my head back in the game. I need to focus and stop looking over my shoulder thinking that Riley or Cole are going to be there.

Puck is passed to me. Opportunity for a break away. I skate as fast as I can and slide the puck in the goal between Goldberg's legs. Score is now 2-1 Varsity's lead.

Riley gets the puck next and passes off to Avery. Avery fakes and passes it off to me. Riley is open for a shot. He receives my pass and slides the puck into the left side of the goal.

As he slides the goal in Cole comes up behind me and shoves me forward. Lying face first on the ice I feel my wrist throbbing. I used my hands to break my fall and my right wrist got caught under my stick. Ugh. This is great.

Charlie helps me up. "Are you okay?" He's looking straight in my eyes to read my expression.

"Fine," I whisper. I wince when I take my stick from Charlie. I know he sees the wince. I skate away but I'm stiff with my stick movements.

I get the puck again. I have trouble moving the puck effectively with my stick so I pass off to Avery. This happens again two minutes later. I have no choice but to switch to my left hand.

"What are you doing Banks! Use that talent that God gave you!" I hear Coach Wilson yell. He's shaking his head at me. If only he knew how much pain I was in. No, then he would bench me.

I look over. Coach Orion is watching me like a hawk. He knows I'm in pain. Otherwise, he would focus on his own team.

Riley has the puck now. I lay back as him, Cole, and Labine pass the puck around and slide it past Goldberg.

I never understood why Goldberg of all people was in goal at all. However, he is now the back up to Julie instead of the go to goalie. Julie is quicker and more focused than Goldberg. Guess they had no where else to stick him.

Score 4-1 Varsity lead.

Now Charlie is in control of the puck. He tries to pass off to Guy but I steal it halfway to him and go on a break away. I'm almost to the net when a stick is rammed against my shins. I fall forward, my helmet flies off, and I slide head first into the  
boards. I was able to get my arm up fast enough to pad some of the hit against the boards, but my head still made contact.

Immediately my head started to spin and my wrist feels on fire. I'm still on my side just laying on the ice. Everything around me is spinning. I can't get up with my head like this. I try to open my eyes, but the lights are too bright. When I try, the lights make my head pound in pain.

"Adam. Hey. Open your eyes. Please. Come on Adam. I need you to open your eyes. Please damn it. Now," I hear Charlie pleading.

"I'm fine," I whisper keeping my eyes shut.

"Practice is over! Varsity off the ice. Now!" yells Coach Orion. Why is he telling varsity what to do?

"Conway. Move," Orion demands. "Banks. Can you hear me?"

I make a simple nod. Then I feel hands on my shoulders slowly turning me to my back and something soft is placed under my head.

"Good. I need you to open your eyes. I need to flash a light in them."

I obediently open my eyes slowly. My head is pounding from all the lights. Orion shines a key chain flashlight in my eyes.

"It looks like you may have a mild concussion. We need to get you to the nurse. We also need to get that arm x-rayed again."

"I'm fine Coach," I wince as my head spins as I try to sit up too fast. I lay back down on the ice.

"You're going to get it looked at or I will suspend you from my team." He must have noticed the look on my face. "I talked with Wilson. He is letting me have you back on my team."

No one looked surprised after what they witnessed happen during today's scrimmage. I got knocked left and right by my own teammates the whole time. If only they saw the aftermath of the other practices and games like Charlie and the Bash Brothers did.

"Portman and Fulton help Banks up. Conway, go help him out of his equipment. I'll be getting his stuff out of the varsity locker room," Coach instructed as he walked towards the locker rooms.

"Okay. Up and Adam," laughed Portman at his own joke. They pulled me off the ice slowly, but not slow enough. My head immediately started spinning and I almost went down again. The brothers were holding on tightly so I wasn't going anywhere. They pulled me along on the ice and helped me sit on the bench in the locker room.

The dizziness was starting to settle now. I could see clearer and didn't have the urge to keep my eyes shut.

Charlie looked worried.

"Charlie, I'm fine," I tried to reassure him.

"Come on. Let's get your equipment off."

He slid my left glove off. However, when he removed my right glove I sucked all my air in. I could have jumped out of my skin.

"Son of a. . ." I sat on the bench doubled over holding my wrist. I had tears running down my face when I looked up.

"I'm sorry. Damn it, Adam. I'm sorry," Charlie is about to become hysterical. I can see it in his eyes.

"Honey, I'm fine. Relax. Breathe. Just hurt more taking that glove off than I prepared myself for," I said soothingly.

"Okay," Charlie breathes out. "Let's get your shoulder pads off."

Charlie gets my shoulder pads and elbow pads off. I take my undershirt off so I can change into my clean shirt when Coach brings my stuff in. Then he sits on the floor to get my skates and shin pads. Together we slide my hockey shorts off and slide my regular shorts on.

"What are all the chest, shoulder, and back bruises from Banks?"

I look up to see Coach Orion behind me with the team behind him. All staring at me except for the ones that have seen the bruises already.

I look down at the floor. "Varsity," I stammer. "Mainly Rick and Cole."

Coach squats in front of me. "Let me see your wrist."

I stick out my arm. My entire wrist is bruised now instead of just the side. One thing that catches my attention the most is the shape of the bruise. It is the shape of a hand print. Riley's hand print.

"Banks this doesn't look good. How long have you been playing with it like this?" Coach looks at me with concern.

"How long have I been on varsity?" I sneer. He's the one that put me on varsity. Unless Coach Wilson didn't give him a choice.

"Put a shirt on. I'm taking you to the nurse myself." Coach gets up and walks over to his office. He grabs a jacket. I put my shirt and jacket on.

"Portman. Fulton. Help Banks up. I don't want him walking without assistance. Conway, grab anything he may need."

Portman and Fulton helped me stand from the bench. My head is not spinning as bad, but my head is pounding. I definitely have a concussion. I've had this feeling before.


	4. Chapter 4

"You indeed have a concussion, Mr. Banks. I'm putting you on two days of bed rest. No classes. No studying. And especially no hockey. I will inform your teachers. I am also going to give you some Tylenol to help with the head pain. Now onto your wrist," the nurse said dropping her gaze. "I would like you to go see a real doctor. I am going to have you use a sling until you can get to the doctor. Minimal usage until you see him."

"Yes ma'am," I sigh. Great two days of doing nothing and needing to go to the doctor again.

We all walk out of the nurses office. I'm walking on my own, but Portman and Fulton are close by in case I lose my balance.

"Well, I'm going to escort you all back to the dorms so you don't get in trouble for breaking curfew. Banks, you let Conway get you comfortable and take it easy. I want you starting in Saturday's game."

At last. My bed. I take my shirt and shorts off and lay down in my boxers. I move over enough so Charlie has enough room to lay down next to me.

I'm exhausted, but not tired enough to fall asleep. Now all my muscles are beginning to ache again. No matter what way I lay I'm on a bruise. I still have the sling on. Varsity is just going to love this.

"Adam. Honestly. Are you okay?" asks Charlie.

I'm too tired to lie. "I hurt everywhere. Every muscle aches. Arm feels like it's on fire. I don't have you laying next to me." I wink at him but he doesn't join me.

He walked into the bathroom. "I'm going to run you a hot bath," he called out. "Bubbles or no bubbles?"

"Charlie. I'm fine. I don't need a bath. I need pain killers," I try to laugh. I can't have any right now due to the concussion. Don't want to push my brain into starting a bleeder.

"Well you can't take them right now anyway so bubbles it is," he commented.

I stare at the ceiling fan for about five minutes until Charlie came in to tell me that the bath was ready. He helped me off the bed and into the bathroom.

"Thanks Charlie." I slide my boxers down and slide out of them. I stepped in the hot tub and Charlie helped me slide down without falling.

For being as good at hockey as I am, I'm extremely clumsy. If I don't have skates on I'm always the first to fall on my ass when it's icy outside. I sometimes wonder if I'm the same person on the ice as I am outside of hockey.

"Comfortable?" Charlie questioned.

"Yeah. This feels good," I replied.

He walked out of the bathroom and came back with a hockey magazine. He put the toilet seat down and sat on it.

"You have anything you need to do? You don't have to babysit if you don't want to," I question him.

"Nah. Finished my homework before practice," he said opening the magazine.

I close my eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the bath. I felt like I was going to doze off.

"Adam. I need to tell you something. Don't be mad at me. Promise?"

"What is it?" My eyes open again watching Charlie.

"Coach Orion knows about us. About us dating I mean." His eyes are looking at the floor.

"I figured that he had figured it out. It's fine Charlie. I trust he will keep our secret. The main thing is that Varsity does not find out. If they ever find out that they shared a locker room with a gay man they would pulverize me."

"I don't think they would pulverize you."

I just looked at him. My eyes were emotionless. "Charlie. Look at me right now. And this is them before knowing I'm gay. Imagine after," I mutter quietly.

"But you aren't on their team anymore," he reasoned.

"That doesn't matter to them. They like to be the ones in control. On their team or off their team."

"Are you scared of them Adam?"

He has never asked me this before. I think back to the practices and games of torment. My own personal hell.

I whispered yes and slide farther down in the tub for more heat.

I sat in the tub for about 10 more minutes. Then Charlie helped me stand and get out of the tub. You know I'm hurting when I actually let Charlie help me up and down.

I put my boxers back on and lay back down. I leave just enough room for Charlie. Charlie laid down next to me and threw something onto my side of the bed. It's my wrist brace.

"Put it on Adam. You need to let it heal for once." Charlie put his arm around my waist. I slid the black brace on and fasten the Velcro. This would feel good if it wasn't for the bruises underneath.

I felt a kiss on my check. "Good night Adam. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Good night Charlie. I hope I do," I yawned.


	5. Chapter 5

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

I swatted the alarm clock. 7:30 AM. Why must it be so damn loud?

"Sorry Adam. Thought I had turned it off already," said Charlie while walking out of the bathroom.

His hair was wet from his shower. He was only wearing a towel like he normally does after a shower. I roll over and watch him walk around the room getting ready for class.

"Take a picture. It will last longer," smiled Charlie.

"But a picture wouldn't have the same effect," I smile.

"Will you do me a favor and relax today? Your doctor appointment is at 10:30 today. Coach volunteered to drive you since I'll be in class. He will meet you at 10 in the circle."

"Okay. I'll be down there to meet him. I should be back in time to have lunch with you all."

"Just relax today Adam."

"I'm not allowed to come down to eat? I will go stir crazy if I'm here. Alone. All day," I reason.

"Fine. Come to lunch. I'll see you then," Charlie said. He finished getting dressed and grabed his backpack to leave.

"Sorry I'm being so bossy Adam. I just am worried and don't want you over doing it."

"I get it. I'll be fine though. Relax."

"Bye Adam."

"Bye Charlie."

I got up at 9:30 and get dressed. Tying my shoes was difficult, but I got it. Last thing I did was put my sling back on. Once I'm ready I head down to meet coach.

I saw him sitting in the circle in his truck. He waved to me and reached over to open the door.

"Hey Adam. How are you feeling today?" Coach asked.

"I feel better. Not so stiff and sore. And my head only hurts a little from the concussion."

"Good. How's the wrist?"

I knew that question was coming. I remember he said he wanted me to be a starter this Saturday.

"It's sore. But the swelling is down and I have more flexibility. It's colorful from bruising. But it does feel better."

"That's good. We will see what the doctor says today. Hopefully, all good news," Coach said with a smile.

We're quiet until we got to the doctors office. This time Coach fills out my paperwork as I tell him what to write. I wish it was Charlie with me because he knows it all without asking.

30 minutes after Coach turned in my paperwork they call me back for my X-rays. After X-rays they lead me to a room until the doctor got there. Coach was already sitting in the room.

"X-rays go good?" He asked as he looked up from his hockey magazine.

"Always do," I sigh. I'm tried of having to get them all the time. I pick up a magazine and look through it.

Dr. Patton knocked on the door and walked in. "Well Adam I wasn't expecting to see you this soon," he commented while looking at my paperwork.

"I see here that you have a mild concussion and another wrist injury. How's your head feeling today?"

"It feels better. Just a headache now," I explain.

"Let me flash this light in your eyes." Dr. Patton said as he flashed the light in my eyes. "Looking better. What were your symptoms?"

"Headache. Light sensitivity. Head spinning."

"Okay. Just take it easy. I will write a note excusing you from classes until Wednesday. You can go back on Thursday. Next order of business. Your wrist. Let me see it."

I slid my arm out of the sling then I undid the Velcro on the brace. I hold my arm out. He gracefully turned my hand over in his hands.

"I would say this is severe bruising. What caused this?" he asked pointing to the hand print.

"I don't know," I said innocently.

"Banks. Just tell him," Coach said.

I sighed, "It was from one of the Varsity. He grabbed me accidentally."

"Well, it's very prominent to be an accident," the doctor said looking me in the eye. "Anyway, the X-ray shows no abnormalities. It's the usual sprain and bruise. When is your next game?" He questioned Coach Orion.

Coach replied, "Saturday night. Will he be able to play?"

Dr. Patton thought for a moment, "As long as he wears the brace and sling, takes Tylenol, and takes it easy until then I would say yes. No hockey until the game Adam. Don't even pick up a hockey stick. You need the rest. However, you can skate and go to practice on Thursday and Friday. Maybe Wednesday. Deal?"

I thought for a moment, "Sounds like a deal to me."

"How are the pain levels when playing?"

"As long as there's no bruising, the pain is low or not there. My wrist just seems weak sometimes. But, I make sure to wrap it on those days," I admit.

"Well, I will send you some exercises to do. Also, how about you start taping the wrist with some padding instead of only wrapping it with a bandage. I think we're past the point of the wrap being useful with this level of play. Don't be ashamed to tape it everyday Adam. I know how resilient you can be with injuries by now."

"Okay. I will start doing that."

"I can show you how to do that or we can have the trainer do it," Coach Orion added.

"Okay. Well, be careful. And Adam, wait longer to need to see me again," he said with a grin while leaving.

"I'll do my best doc," I gave him a small wave goodbye.

"Okay. Well that's good news and a good plan. Let's get you back to campus for lunch," Coach said while standing up.

We got to the car and got in. I tried belting myself in but can't get it with my left hand. I just about to gave in when coach chimes in and helped me himself.

"Thanks Coach," I murmured.

"You're welcome. Can I ask you a quick question Banks?"

"Yeah Coach. Ask away."

"How did your father react to your recent string of injuries?" He asked while watching my reaction.

"Honestly. I haven't told him yet. I was going to call him after lunch today to inform him of the bad news," I said looking out the car window.

"This isn't bad news Banks. You get to play in the game Saturday as long as you feel up to it. And aren't relying too much on pain killers. I need a clear and level headed star center forward Saturday."

"I know Coach. I will be fine Saturday. I don't max out on my meds anymore. Also, to my father, missing one practice is enough to make him mad. Let alone four."

"He will understand. He wouldn't want you to play injured and cause permanent injury," Coach commented.

All I said was okay and slump against the window. We drove into the circle a couple minutes later and I got out.

"Thanks for driving Coach. I'll see you later," I smiled while closing the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**I will probably revise this chapter soon. There's an aspect in here that I might take out. So go ahead and read it and let me know what you think! If you have suggestions PM me. Thanks everyone!**

* * *

It's 12. Just in time for lunch. I walked towards the dining hall. I look in and the other ducks weren't there yet so I decided to wait.

"Hey Banks. How was the doctor," Dean asked while patting me hard on the back. I winced from him hitting my bruises. "Sorry Banks. Forgot about the bruises."

"It's okay. Doctor was fine. I can play in the game Saturday. I'm just not allowed to play until the game. No practices. I'm under orders to not even touch a hockey stick until the game," I explained.

"Well that's good you get to play in the game! We're really going to need you," Charlie said popping up behind me.

"Thanks Charlie," I smiled. "I'm excited to play Saturday. It's going to be a good one."

We walk into the dining hall and got our food. Charlie carried my tray to the table for me and sat me down right next to him. This was my first meal where I'm not required to sit by varsity.

"Nice having you back at this table Banks," Fulton said while sitting down on the other side of me. "We don't have to worry about you so much."

"Why don't you need to worry about him?"

I turn to see Rick and Cole right behind me. Rick put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. That's when he noticed my arm in the sling.

"Oh. What's this Banksie? Are you hurt? Did you go home crying to daddy? Can wittle Banksie not handle the pain?" Rick mocked.

Portman jumped up, "Leave him be Reilly. He hasn't done anything to you."

"How do you know he hasn't? He was nothing but trouble for varsity," argued Cole.

"Trouble my ass. Even on our team he stays to himself. I don't see how the quietest player was trouble. Or is it that you were threatened that he plays hockey better than you do and is three years younger than you?" Charlie ranted while pushing Rick's  
hand off my shoulder.

"Newsflash Duckie. He can't play hockey better than me. He obviously can't even play right now," Rick said pointing to my arm.

"Yeah. You made damn sure you injured him during every damn practice and game. It's your fault he got a concussion. It's your fault his wrist is all jacked up. There's even a damn bruise of your hand print to prove it," Charlie continued to rant. This  
was not going to end well. I could feel it.

"Well if he knew his place we wouldn't have had to rough him up. If he's a true hockey player he can handle being knocked around," Cole spat at Charlie.

"Why do you care so much?" Rick asked.

I tensed. I knew that question was coming. Come on Charlie. Don't do something stupid now.

"I care because he is a player on the team that I happen to be captain of. I actually care about the well being of my team. Something you could learn from actually."

"Like I could learn anything from you," Rick remarked. "You're getting too defensive about Banksie. Sure you aren't more than just roommates?"

Charlie hesitated slightly. Shit Charlie. Don't lose it now. "I would react this way for any of my teammates. Especially if someone is intentionally injuring them physically or emotionally."

"So we emotionally hurt you Banksie? I'm so sad. What did you do? Go slice your wrists, swallow some pills, and try to kill yourself again? Can't say I'd miss you," Rick said calmly while glaring at me.

All the ducks caught the word "again" and watched me intently. My panic started to rise. Only four ducks knew my past and living situation. Only Charlie, Dean, Fulton, and Jesse knew what I did.

I stood up and faced Rick and Cole. "Go to hell, Riley. Sowhat if I did do those things? That's in the past.I can handle the pain. I'm not weak," I spew at Rick and Cole. I have officially snapped.

"Well from where I'm standing your the one in the sling and has been knocked down to JV. I'm the one still captain of Varsity. Does daddy know yet? That you weren't good enough to play with the big boys and had to go back to the little ducks. When he  
finds out are you going to do what you did when you found out you were being taken from the Hawks?" Ricks locked eyes with me.

All the ducks are just looking at me. Except Charlie, Dean, and Fulton. They are the only ones that know exactly what happened when I found out I was being taken off the Hawks and placed on the Ducks. My dad was pissed and said it was all my fault which  
followed with his usual antics. I dealt with my fathers discipline the one way I could control. I was a cutter. It was a pain I could control. I control the depth of the knife and the length of the cut. It was pain that I caused. I couldn't control  
my fathers disappointment or abuse. But cutting, that I could control.

"How do you know what I did?" I asked. My temper flaring.

"Let's just say a little Hawk told me," he smiled. "Why don't you tell the ducks now what you did?"

"I won't tell them for your pure amusement to my downfalls in life. Just leave me alone. You don't have to deal with my inadequacy anymore on the team. My life no longer impacts you. Just leave me be," I reasoned.

"You know that won't happen," Cole fires off.

"Rick. Cole. Leave Banks the hell alone," Scooter yelled running up to us starting to push them towards Varsity table. Scooter and Avery successfully get them to the table and forced them to sit.

We all sat back down at our table and ate in silence. I just push my food around my plate. My anxiety was building up to a full panic attack. Charlie was zoned out thinking hard. Varsity had to know about us now. I just had a feeling.

Julie was the one to pose the question. "Did you really do something to yourself Adam?"

Everyone is watching me. I lower my head. "Yes, Jules. I did," I said with sadness.

"Why?" She asked.

"I can't tell you here. I will when I'm ready to share," I said as I nodded my head towards Varsity. They were keeping tabs on me. I could feel it.

"I'm going back to bed," I muttered then went and threw my trash away.

Leaving the dining hall I finally started to have my panic attack. It's hard to catch my breath. I need to get away. I should probably just go back to the room and nap. My head was beginning to pound again. Love being stressed while having a concussion.

I made it to the room and I kick off my shoes. I took the sling and my jacket off. I switch into shorts. Then I grabbed an ice pack and laid down on my left side trying to calm my panic attack.

Deep breaths Adam. Deep breaths.

I was hyperventilating when I heard the door open.

"Adam," Charlie whispered. "Are you awake?"

I just shook my head yes. He must of noticed my breathing because he grabbed my anxiety meds and took one out passing it to me. I popped it in my mouth with a swig of water as he laid down next to me rubbing my back.

"It's okay, Adam. Just breathe. Deep breathes. Everything is okay," he whispered in my ear calming down.

A few minutes later my attack has subsided. I don't know if it was the medication, Charlie, or combination there of.

"Come on Adam. Now that your calm we need to talk about what just happened with varsity."

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because. I'm worried about you. That was personal information that they shouldn't know in the first place. I know you never fully stopped cutting. The ducks are worried. They are shocked to hear that you of all people cut."

"Yeah. Well everyone thinks my damn life is sunshine and rainbows because I'm rich and talented," I said turning onto my back so I could sit up. Charlie offered his hand and pulled me up. We were now sitting side by side on my bed.

He wrapped his arm around me. "How are you feeling?"

"My head is pounding," I said as I lay my head on his shoulder.

"When was the last time you took Tylenol?"

"I honestly don't remember. I'm probably due for some," I said quietly.

Charlie got up to get my medicine and water. I took my medicine and he told me to lay down.

"I'm skipping my afternoon classes," he announced.

"Why? I don't need a babysitter, Charlie," I argued. "Also, I need you to go to class so one of us understands the homework."

He thought for a moment. "Good point. Will you be okay alone?" He asked while watching me.

"Yes. I'm going to sleep. Promise. I'm halfway asleep now from my Xanax. Also, you'll get detention if caught skipping."

He huffed out a sigh. "Fine Adam. I'll see you later," he left the room with his backpack looking defeated.

I roll onto my side and doze off.


	7. Chapter 7

BUZZZZZ. BUZZZZZ.

I hear my phone vibrating on my nightstand and answer it thinking it would be Charlie.

"Yeah," I said answering the phone.

"Adam, we need to have a talk," my father said in a firm voice.

"Okay." I internally groan.I'm only in the mood to give one word answers to him.

"Dr. Patton called."

I froze, "I'm sorry, I was gonna call you and fill you in later. I was exhausted."

"He asked if we had any altercations lately like we used to."

Shit. "I told him it was a varsity player."

"Well apparently he doesn't believe you," my dad snapped. "Why didn't you have me take you to the doctor?"

"Coach volunteered and was going to be there anyway for his daughter too." I lied.

"Well from here on out I take you to the doctor. Don't forget or I will have to whip you into shape. You better be playing in the game Saturday. Crying and missing practice over such a small injury and concussion is ridiculous. I also heard you are now  
on JV. You are an embarrassment to the Banks name and need to start living up to expectations. You need. . . ," I zone out ignoring my father.

This is one hell of a day. Nothing is going right. My mind is starting to roam. How much can I handle today? I think of my scars due to the lunchroom argument. I'm starting to get the itch to do it again.

"Good bye Adam," I hear as my dad hangs up.

Finally. Longest ten minute conversation of my life. I should have told him I was going to the doctor. I should have had him drive me too. I would have been miserable, but we could have avoided this.

Why did the doctor have to call and say something? My dad doesn't knock me around anymore. Well not as much. I'm too tall now for him to be able to do it how he wants too.

My eyes are starting to well with tears. There's no reason to hold them back so I let them fall.

Am I really this much of a screw up to everyone? I know I am to my father. He just wants me to make it to the pros. Granted I do want to make it to the pros, but I also want to be doing it for me. Not his satisfaction.

How am I such a big nuisance to Rick and Cole? It's like I'm a magnet. I try to stay away and keep my distance, but they always find me. If I bother them so much why don't they go the other way when they see me. Satisfaction. They get satisfaction from  
bringing me down.

Now what will the ducks think. They all think I'm this little rich boy with the perfect life. Reality is I have a father that will not hesitate to knock me around given the right circumstances. A mother that won't stand up to my father. A brother that  
has quit hockey and resents my father in every way possible. I have a varsity team always trying to ruin me. I have the ducks that are learning about my past the hard way. Then there's me. I cut because I can control everything about it. I lock pretty  
much everything inside except for what Charlie manages to get out of me.

It's times like this that I have the urge to take care of my pain. I look at the clock. It reads 2:50. Charlie will be back in 5 minutes. Not enough time.

I decide to lay back down. This time I catch myself crying, but I can't stop it. I put my face in my pillow to muffle the sounds.

A couple minutes later Charlie walks in. I hear him drop all of his stuff and walk over to my bed. He sits down on the edge and starts to rub my back.

"What's wrong Adam," Charlie whispered.

"I don't want to talk about it," I mumble.

"Well then I'm just going to guess. Your in more pain?"

I shake my head no. I'm in pain, but not the type he's referencing.

"Varsity?"

Again I shake my head no.

"What did your father say?"

I look up in his eyes, "How did you know?"

"Just a guess. He find out about the doctor?"

"Yeah. The doctor stupidly called and asked if the handprint on my wrist was from him. Of course any other time it would have been. But, this time it honestly wasn't," I say quietly.

"If he thought your dad did it, then why did he confront him versus just reporting it?" Charlie asked.

"I like him as a doctor, but he also is friends with my father so he doesn't ever report any of the abuse. Part of why he's my doctor."

Charlie continues to rub my back while looking at the floor. "So did he say anything else?"

"Lots. Always does."

"Such as?"

I began to cry again. "I'm a screw up. All this talent and I can't skate without getting an injury or suck up the pain enough to pretend it doesn't hurt. I'm never going to make the pros. All that fun usual bullshit. He also found out I'm no longer on  
Varsity," I spit out.

"Come on Adam. Ignore him. You are the strongest man I know. Part of the reason I love you so much. You are the only one I ever see handle the amount of injuries and pressure you do and skate on like they are nothing. You will definitely go pro one day  
as long as that is what you want to do," Charlie said cuddling against me softly. "Also, you will get more playing time as starting center on JV than you would as 3rd line Varsity. Everything will work out."

I don't say anything. My crying has ceased.I just turn to face him. I kiss him softly on his lips. My tongue tickling along his lips hoping for entrance. He opens his mouth enough for me to slip my tongue in. We kiss while exploring each other's  
mouths. I slide off my shirt and Charlie follows suit.

He rolls me onto my back. He straddles me while kissing down to my chest. I have my arms around him pulling him closer. His warmth fills me up along with the attention of hungry kisses.

He kisses along my collarbone and teasingly bites after each kiss. He works his way back down my collarbone and up my neck. He sits up for a moment looking me in the eyes and smiles. Now Charlie is kissing me on the lips again where I grant him access.

We continue for a few more minutes and then just lay facing each other cuddling. I lay my head on Charlie's chest listening to his heartbeat.

"Adam," Charlie whispers, "I love you. Don't ever forget that."

I look in his eyes for a moment. "I love you too."

Then I steal a deep kiss from him followed by pushing him on his back while I straddle him. I take Charlie's lead from when I was on bottom. Exploring him with kisses. Now I focus on his lips again. He teases me denying access at first then finally lets  
me explore his mouth again.

"Hey guys," says Fulton as he barges through our door. "Oh shit. I'm sorry. Totally should have knocked."

We turn and see him and the rest of the team in the hallway looking at us. I jump off Charlie to my side of the bed.

"One of these days you are going to walk into something you realllly don't want to see us doing," Charlie says. His face is red. I can't tell if it's from embarrassment like me or anger that our session was over.

Fulton looked at us registering what Charlie is implying. "You two have sex? I thought you were both waiting?"

"One of these days it is bound to happen, Fult," Charlie shrugs.

"What do you all want," I asked reaching for my shirt.

"We're heading to practice. We weren't sure if you were walking over with us Charlie or if you were walking with Adam," Julie chimed in.

Charlie looked at me. "Are you going to watch practice or no?"

"I don't know. I hadn't thought about it yet," I shrug.

Everyone stifles a laugh.

"Come on, Banks," Russ speaks up, "We all know you by now. You've definitely thought about it."

I just look at him, "I haven't really. It's been a kind of hectic day today."

Some of the team nod their head in agreement. However; Fulton, Julie, Portman, and Russ all are watching me intently.

"I'll go to practice," I decide. "Better than being stuck here alone."

"Okay. You all can go ahead of us so we can get ready," Charlie said as he put his shirt back on.

The team said there quick good byes and head to practice.

"Sure you want to go?" Charlie ask me while putting his shoes on.

"Yeah. Otherwise, I would just be left to my own thoughts. This way I can at least distract myself with hockey," I explain to him as I sit next to him.

He smiles, "Because with you, hockey fixes everything."

"Not always," I smile. "You do a lot of that work. You follow behind picking up the pieces." 


	8. Chapter 8

**Please let me know what you think. Tried a different perspective. Please, please,please let me know what you think! Please review so I know what you think. I think I'm going to do the same scene in Adams POV as well so we can see both perspectives.**  
/

CHARLIE'S POV! At practice

"Hey Charlie. Focus will ya,"yells Portman.

"Sorry. Zoned out," I explain.

"I get it dude. He's fine right now. He's watching the practice so chill," says Fulton skating up.

"He's watching yes. But, I want to know what he's thinking," I explain to the BashBrothers before taking the puck and taking a shot at Julie. My shot is caught in her glove.

"Sorry Charlie," she calls out to me. She always apologizes when she blocks our shots. I go back to the end of the line with Dean and Fulton.

"So what's going on with him? I feel we only know half of the story." Fulton asks.

"Really rough day. Varsity induced panic attack. Father induced crying session. And he can't skate it off," I tell them. They know a lot about me and Adam. They also know about Adam's home life which not many people are aware of.

Portman used to always call him rich boy until he learned about Adam's true home he's not so envious of him. He actually feels bad for him.

Fulton questions, "How bad was the panic attack this time?"

The three of us know that the panic attacks have slowly been getting worse and happening more often since he was put on varsity.

"Enough for him to take a Xanax without even attempting to argue with me."

"So it was a rough one then," he responds looking down at the ice. I nod.

"Is there anything we can do?" Portman ask.

"I have no idea. I feel he's going to break soon. He's had a lot of things happen to lead to him snapping," I comment. I hate to admit that Adam still cuts, but he rarely does it anymore. It's far and in between episodes.

We all focus on finishing warmups. I look over at Adam. He watching us, but he's isn't focusing. You can tell by his blue eyes that he's distracted. I can only imagine what he's thinking. He may have been better off staying in the room sleeping than watchingsomething  
/he really wants to be a part of. But then again, what would have done whenhe woke up alone?

We all hear Orion's whistle blow and go take a knee around him. He waves Adam over to join us. I wave Adam towards me and pat a hand on my knee to indicate for him to sit. He walks over slowly and gradually lowers himself onto my knee with assistancesohe  
doesn't slip. I use the opportunity to slip my arms around Adam's waist. As a result, I feel Adam slide slightly closer and melt into me.

"Big game this Saturday everyone. We're playing McKendree. I'm not going to lie to you. They are a strong team that throws their weight around, so be prepared for multiple checks of any kind. This also means we will definitely need strong defense infrontof  
/Julie because they can muscle the way through. Watching the tapes though we have stronger puck handlers. I believe that Banks, Robertson, Germaine, Conway, and Moreaucould easily make their way around defense as long as they are covered. Goldberg,  
/Portman, and Reed, make sure to get your rest before the game because we're going to need you to counteract their defense for them to make plays probably. Now don't makestupid plays that put you too close to too many of their men because they

are known todouble team players with checks and most of them make it look legal. Okay, now I want to see a scrimmage. Split into teams," he says as he blows his whistle.

I watch Coach turn to Adam, "Banks, would you like to assist me this week so you aren't just sitting on the bench?"

"Sure Coach Orion," Adam says as he nods.

Well at least he will have something to focus on now. Adam is a good assistant coach. He makes good plays and ideas along with positive corrective criticism. If anything ever happens to his hockey career I'm sure he could easily find a coaching position.

We started our scrimmage and listened for the feedback from Coach and Adam. I notice that Coach and Adam are looking at Coach's clipboard while deep in conversation. Most likely, talking about good combinations to have on the ice at the same time onSaturday  
/and potential plays. Adam has known us all long enough and has good knowledge of hockey to use a good strategy when creating plays.

I get my head back into the scrimmage. Adam is content and distracted now whichmeans I can focus again on being a captain.


End file.
